Addressing Some Common Misconceptions: Women

Originally, I planned to dedicate several blog posts to each of these topics. However, it is pointless to regurgitate information that can be found elsewhere–especially when there is unique, interesting exegesis I could be writing. The following issues have been discussed extensively on human rights- centric Islamic forums. So, instead of rewriting everything, I am just going to hyperlink relevant exegesis.

  • Is sex with slaves permitted?
    No. Unfortunately it is widely believed that concubinage and slavery are Islamically permitted, and debates still rage over whether the Prophet Muhammad owned sex slaves. The Quran permits sexual relations with “those whom your right hands possess” for both men and women, but only after marriage. For more information, see here. Note that I am not providing a historical overview; if you want that, read Sexual Ethics in Islam (Ali, Kecia). The history behind this issue is deeply disturbing, so employ caution.
  • Did you know that the angels curse women who don’t give their husbands sex on demand? And also, did you know that marital rape supposedly doesn’t exist?
    Clerics are thirsty. I’m not even going to be polite here; I’m done with this bullshit. According to verse 4:34, men must stop sexual relations when there is a marital conflict. They’re not even entitled to the expectation of sex within marriage. They are forbidden from harming their wives, so rape is obviously haram and this shouldn’t even need to be discussed, but unfortunately too many people’s lives and dignity are at stake to ignore this. I’ve also seen verse 2:223 used as permission for marital rape, which is absurd, given that right after permitting marital sexual relations, it commands men to fear God, and to send forth good deeds for their families. Is rape a good deed? I will leave it at that.
  • Women who disobey their husbands go to Hell.
    They absolutely do not. Currently laughing myself to death at the control-desperate, entitled clerics pushing these ideas.
  • Women must stay at home.
    How many times can I cry over flagrant ignorance and slander against God’s Words? I’ll cry again, I guess.
  • Apparently women can’t work without their husbands’ agreement. Or fast without their husbands’ approval. Or do…anything…without their husbands agreeing to it first.
    Muslim clerics have made an Olympic sport out of shirk, constantly equating husbands with God. Muslim women, just as men, have the right to earn and participate in public life without their husbands’ “approval.”
  • What is all this about marrying four wives?
    According to a literal reading of verses 4:3 and 4:127-129, marrying multiple women is related to the maintenance of orphans, and is recommended for their protection and the protection of their widowed mothers. In classical Arabic, an orphan, or yateem, is a child who has lost their father but not their mother. When yateem is taken as a reference to an adult woman, it can also mean a woman left widowed and without provision. (Source: Edward Lanes Lexicon) The traditionalist position is that men can take multiple wives without the consent of their first wife, but this is clearly against the Quran, which commands mutual consent in marital decisions and forbids harm and oppression (2:232-233, 4:24, 3:159, 39:18, 42:38, 58:11, 4:19, 2:231). Verses 4:2-4:4 and 4:127-4:129 speak of polygyny within the context of maintaining the wealth of orphaned children, and also mandate that even for the purposes of providing for orphans, polygyny is forbidden if it causes injustice or harm. It appears to be a conditional sanction, not the norm, and must take place with the acceptance of all parties.
  • Domestic violence is supposedly permitted.
    We’ve heard it all by this point. Beating up one’s wife with feathers, hankerchiefs, and toothbrushes–it never seems to end. This is based on demonstrably faulty and hypocritical Qur’anic interpretation, fueled primarily by the Prophet’s farewell sermon. See here.
  • Hur Al-Ayn! Sex in Jannah! Villas made of pearl filled with beautiful women!
    This is honestly one of the most hilarious misconceptions I have ever seen. Sometimes I laugh myself to death over the concept of 72 virgins in Heaven, but then I cry, because it is tragic that such a beautiful concept can be destroyed to such a degree. May Allah protect us. Here is the truth. Indeed, it never ceases to amaze me how beautiful, pure Quranic concepts can be twisted to ruination. How many times have y’all heard this hadith in sermons: “Every time a woman disobeys her husband, a hoori in Jannah says, ‘May Allah destroy you! He is only with you for a time! Soon he shall join us!'”
  • Sex is haram, supposedly. But everything is about sex.
    The misconceptions abound. Muslim clerics are always telling women to have haya, since their beauty is a dreadful temptation to men. This is why being alone with an unrelated woman is considered khalwa and is forbidden. It is also why shaking the hand of a non-mahram woman is forbidden, because apparently it leads to extramarital sex. Women singing in public is haram because sex. Women showing their hair is haram because sex. Everything is haram because sex. I must ask: Who is more obsessed with sex here, Muslim men or the West?
  • Here is the final, very important misconception I must clear up: You can pray on your period. You can fast on your period. In fact, it is religious obligation upon you to do all of these things unless you are legitimately sick. Menstruation only renders sex haram, nothing else. You are not spiritually impure. Go pray.

    Honestly, all of this is about a fraction of what I could cover. A woman who wears perfume in public is an adulteress! Only the face and hands can be shown in public! Women are deficient in deen and ‘aql! I could go on and on and on. But hopefully this aided in clearing up a few misconceptions, and I urge everyone to do research on their own. In this trying times, it is desperately needed. I want to cry for the women who are convinced that they are worthless in the eyes of God because “religious” men have told them this. I want justice for them, and vengeance against the oppressors. This is why Hell exists. A mermaid once told me that God’s Wrath towards the oppressors is really mercy for the oppressed.

    UPDATE: [January 19th, 2018]

  • In this post, I should have elaborated more on 4:3. I will do so later, in a separate post dedicated to the topic. I have received emails on this, so I apologize for forcing you to wait.

16 thoughts on “Addressing Some Common Misconceptions: Women

Add yours

  1. This was actually inspired by a young woman who wrote to me, and my heart literally broke because of the way Islam has been used to subjugate women. I’m tired and I’m done, and I’m no longer sweet or angelic or politically correct. Thank you to the med student who emailed me. You got me back to work.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hi Misha,

    I’m new to your blog and just started to explore. I went to quranicpath from the last link in your article and the website seems dodgy. I couldn’t find out who was writing and what they base their exegeses on. I read their “about” section, the “study tools” list and a couple of articles so far, but I still don’t have an answer. Do you know any more?


    1. I know who writes the website and am acquainted with the general network. I disagree with some things on it, but sometimes I link to it in relevant posts. The author wishes to remain anonymous for safety reasons. Sorry for the late reply—in India rn lol.


  3. I literally cried after reading this post, because I never knew that I could pray when on my period.

    I discovered your blog a couple of months ago and am deeply indebted to you. Over the past two decades pseudo-islamic patriarchy has put fear into my heart when it comes to going to mosques, praying or even belonging to a muslim community. Yet, there always remained a little something inside me that never gave up looking for her Creator and I’ve finally found the strenght to take up the fight against all the lies and half-truths that are told to uphold power. You save my sanity on this journey. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you darling. Sorry I think it took a while to approve this comment—I’m in India currently lol, and the wifi here is questionable at best.

      Know that you are not indebted to anyone: rather, you are ENTITLED to know the truth. Nobody deserves to put up with the nonsense perpetuated in the name of religion.

      And I know how hard it is to maintain sanity in this pseudo religious BS environment. I struggle with it too every day. Don’t give up, and know that what they’ve told you is wrong. God knows so much better than bearded misogynists who wield rosaries and lies.


  4. if Hurn Al Ayn are genderless as what’s indicated in the article you linked to, what about the hadith that supposedly says that believing women are superior to Hur Al Ayn? doesn’t that disclose that they are female?


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